He Did What He Had To
by Stahlfan125
Summary: Shannon grieves for Boone, and Locke decides to help her in the only way he knows how; he turns to the island. (Oneshot Shoone)


Yet another Shooner story by me….hope you like. I went a little weird with this one, but I really liked the idea, so I stuck with it. Sooo….enjoy. And…reviews. Please? I love them!

The story's not the greatest...but i wrote this in like...an hour and just had to get it out.

* * *

Boone was dead. Gone.

She couldn't believe it. Not after everything they had been through. She had always thought that she would be the first to die. She kind of liked that idea. She liked to imagine him grieving over her.

At least, she used to.

After he died, she realized that she didn't want anyone to ever have to grieve again, because of what she felt. She knew that it was the worst feeling in the world…especially when you were grieving for someone you loved.

* * *

She was sitting near the waterfall at the caves, turned completely away from the bed where Boone had laid so recently, when she had stroked his hair and tried to pretend he was just sleeping. She wouldn't look at anyone; least of all Sayid. She had thought she loved Sayid, before Boone died, and then again when he came back from the woods with Claire's baby. But the truth was that she _didn't_. She had only known him for around forty days. How could you call that love? Maybe some people could, but Shannon certainly wasn't one of them.

So she just sat there, patting Vincent and trying to think of anything but Boone. She had been trying since he died. She had been _failing _since he died. Just add that to the list of things she sucked at; forgetting.

"Hey, Shannon."

Shannon looked up as Kate came and sat down next to her. Kate, who hadn't said more than two words to her the entire forty days. Kate, who looked down on her constantly. Kate, who thought _she _was so much better than Shannon.

"Hey."

She wouldn't let Kate know that she cared about the indifference that the other woman showed her. She wouldn't let Kate see that she was sorry she was a failure.

"How are you doing?"

Stupid question. She looked at Kate pointedly. Kate gave a sad little smile.

"Not good," Shannon muttered. She looked down in her lap, and Kate followed her gaze. Boone's shirt was there. The blue one with the cards on it. Shannon always used to think about how good he looked in it.

"I don't really know what it's like to lose a sibling…" Kate began, but she stopped when Shannon gave a humorless chuckle of derision.

"Good thing I didn't lose a sibling then," she said, her eyes rising to meet Kate's. The other woman looked confused.

"What?" Kate asked. Shannon sighed and rolled her head back, looking up at the sky for a few moments before she looked back at Kate.

"Boone wasn't my brother," she spat. "He was my step-brother."

"Oh," Kate said slowly, apparently not really sure what the difference was. Shannon sighed again.

"Look," she said. "I loved him, all right? I don't know why I'm telling you this, since you probably really don't care, but I loved him. Only, the really funny part is that he loved me for the entire time we knew each other, and I only realized that I loved him back _after _he died." Shannon's voice was full of bitterness, and she tossed her head back to get her hair out of her eyes. She hadn't washed it since Boone died. Stuff like that just didn't matter anymore. "Ironic, right?"

Kate was silence for a few moments, and she looked at the ground studiously. Shannon just waited, knowing that the other woman would figure out something to stay eventually. And she did.

"I _do _know what it's like to lose someone I loved," she said softly; so softly that Shannon almost couldn't hear her. "And sometimes…I think it might be best to just get over it."

Kate knew she had struck a nerve as soon as she said the words. Shannon's head snapped up and she looked at Kate with her lips pursed with contempt and her eyes flashing with anger.

"I'm tired of people telling me to just move on," she said tremulously, forcing every word out of her mouth as if it held a vile taste. "They tell me to grow up, to get over it…God, why can't people just see that I _don't want to_? I _want _to be miserable, because I know that _I_ made _his_ life a living hell before he died. It's my fault he's gone. It's my _fucking _fault."

She stood up and stalked away, ignoring Kate's pleas for her to stay at the caves. Shannon knew it was dangerous out there. She knew those 'others' were around. And she really didn't care.

* * *

She didn't really know where she was going to stop before she actually did it. Boone's grave. She should have known. She hadn't visited it since they had buried him. What was the point? It was just his body. His shell. It wasn't Boone. It was just a mold of what Boone once was.

She sat down on the grass in front of the grave, staring at the freshly turned dirt and running her fingers through it gently. Before she knew it, tears were falling, and she was sobbing into her hand, trying to muffle her cries. She couldn't believe it. She didn't _want _to believe it. It was too much for her. _It was just too much_.

She saw the man standing back on the beach out of the corner of her eye, and she sighed, wiping her eyes. He was watching her. She knew it.

"What do you want?" she asked, turning completely around to face him. John Locke stepped forward, actually having the decency to look a little timid.

"I saw you leaving the caves," he said, moving even closer. "I figured you were heading here."

"Yeah," Shannon said simply, turning and looking back at the grave. After a long pause, Locke figured that she wasn't going to say anything else, so he moved and sat down next to her, looking at Boone's grave with a fond smile.

"I looked at Boone…as a son," he said slowly. "I never had any kids…but I figured that if I wanted kids, then I'd want one to be like him. He was a great man."

Shannon looked at him sadly, actually feeling some emotion for the guy.

"Then why did you kill him?" she asked with quiet resentment. "Why did you let him go up there?"

"I didn't think anything would happen," Locke said. Shannon glared at him. She didn't believe it. He could tell.

"Whatever," she growled, looking away. She knew he was still staring at her.

"The island can give you what you want," he said gently. "But you have to give the island something in return."

"What?" she asked, making a face. "What are you talking about?"

Locke just smiled at her and stood up.

"It's up to you to decide," he said gently, before turning and walking away down the beach. Shannon watched him go, feeling her heart filling with anger.

The island couldn't give her what she wanted. What she wanted was Boone. That was what she wanted. That was all. She lay down next to the grave, curling up into a ball and putting her hand in the dirt, as if she was holding onto him. She closed her eyes and willed herself to forget, but she knew that she would never, ever forget.

* * *

When Shannon opened her eyes, it was dark and cold. She sighed and sat up, surprised to find that she was no longer lying beside Boone's grave, but was lying on the ground at the caves, covered by a blanket and looking into the flickering fire. Sayid lay nearby. She turned around to go get a drink of water, when suddenly she saw something that made her freeze.

It was Boone. He was getting up from his bed. Locke was saying something to him. He shook his head groggily and mumbled something in return, looking disoriented.

"Boone," Shannon whispered, tears flying to her eyes. She looked down and saw that she was wearing the clothes that she had been wearing the day he died. She looked up and noticed that he, too, was wearing those same clothes. "Boone!"

Boone turned around, looking surprised at her sudden outburst. She jumped up and ran to him, flinging her arms around his neck and sobbing as she breathed in his dirty scent. Suddenly, it didn't matter that he smelled horrible. It was the best smell in the world to her.

"Shan?" Boone asked incredulously, trying to fend her off. She just clutched at him and cried into his shoulder, mumbling incoherent words. Slowly, uncertainly, his arms encircled her waist. "Shan, what's wrong?"

She pulled away from him for a moment, just long enough to look into his eyes.

"It's really you," she whispered. "It's really…you."

"What?" Boone asked, looking at Locke questioningly. Locke just stared at Shannon, eyes emotionless.

"What happened, Shannon?" he asked seriously.

"I…I was out with Sayid, and I came back…and Boone…and…" she trailed off and broke into incoherent sobs again. Boone held her tight and kissed her hair gently.

"Hey," he said. "Hey, it's all right," he said. "Come on. Come here."

Boone took Shannon and led her over to his sleeping pad, sitting her down gently and getting her some water. Locke sat down across from her. Boone, after a pause, sat next to Shannon.

"Why don't you tell us what happened," Locke said gently. "You had a dream?"

"No," Shannon said, shaking her head. "That was _not _a dream. It was too…_real_."

"What do you mean?" Boone asked, furrowing his eyebrows. "Explain it."

Shannon looked at him again, feeling her lower lip trembling. She reached out and took his hand. It was so…warm. So alive. She just hoped that _this _wasn't a dream.

"I…I was somewhere with Sayid, and I came back and you were…dead."

Boone gave Shannon a look of surprise and glanced at Locke. Locke just watched, calculating.

"You had…you had fallen in this plane from a tree or something, and Jack tried to save you…but you didn't want him to use the antibiotics. Everyone was telling me you had been brave…Locke gave me your stuff."

She picked up his bag and pulled it open.

"What are you doing?" Boone asked.

"There was a picture," Shannon said, fighting back tears. "Me and you. The one we took on the cruise three years ago."

Boone looked surprised. Shannon pulled it out and held it up.

"You gave me this," she said. "You gave me his stuff. We buried him. People forgot about him, and ignored me. They didn't want to deal with it. I…I shot you. But I missed, because Sayid stopped me."

Locke gave a little start of surprise. Boone glanced at him.

"Shannon…" he said kindly. "This sounds like a dream to me."

"It wasn't," she said weakly, shaking her head. "Boone…I had to live there for…days without you."

"Must've been hard," Boone replied, rolling his eyes. "Look, we've gotta go…"

"No!" Shannon exclaimed. "Boone…please don't go!"

"Look, I have to," Boone said, standing up. "All right? We can talk about this later."

He stood up. Shannon stood up with him.

"Please," she sobbed. "Please don't go."

Boone looked concerned for a moment, but after a glance from Locke, he pulled away from Shannon's desperate, grabbing arms, and he walked into the woods.

"What was that all about?"

Shannon turned to face Sayid. He was standing behind her, looking tired. He rubbed his eyes.

"Please go after him," she sobbed. "Please make sure he's all right."

Sayid walked up to her and kissed her gently.

"I will," he whispered, and he walked into the trees.

* * *

It was afternoon when Locke returned. Boone was with him. Sayid was not.

"Boone!" Shannon exclaimed, heaving a huge sigh of relief. "You're okay!"

"Yeah," Boone said numbly, looking at her as if seeing her for the first time.

"Where's Sayid?"

Locke looked at her, eyebrows raised.

"Dead," he said simply. Shannon's hands flew to her mouth. "We went to a clearing…found an airplane. Sayid came out of the woods, saying that he'd climb up into it in Boone's place."

Shannon gasped.

"And it…fell!" she said with certainty. Locke nodded. Shannon looked at Boone and felt her eyes welling with tears.

"You can't tell anyone," Locke said lowly, taking a step towards her. She shrunk back and shook her head, as Boone put a steadying arm around her shoulders.

"I won't," she whispered. Locke nodded, then turned to Boone and patted him on the shoulder.

"It's all right," he said to the younger man, and he walked off to his sleeping spot.

Boone turned to Shannon, and she could see the pain in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he murmured quietly. "I'm so…so sorry. I didn't want him to…"

"Boone," Shannon whispered, shaking her head and pulling him so he was sitting down on the cave floor beside her. "I wanted you back. I wanted you back so much that I was willing to give anything to the island in order to get you back. I gave the island Sayid."

Boone looked at her doubtfully.

"You dreamed that I died…" he began, but Shannon shook her head.

"No," she said. "It was more than a dream, Boone. There was so much…so much realness to it. There were so many things that were going on…Claire had the baby…Rousseau returned…the raft sailed…all while I was just _sitting _there doing nothing. Boone…I missed you so much. I couldn't do anything except…_cry_."

Shannon sobbed and wrapped her arms around his neck. Boone patted her back awkwardly. She seemed like a completely different woman. The wall that he had slowly been building between he and Shannon was beginning to crumble.

"Hey, shh, it's all right, Shan," he whispered, pulling her into him tightly. "It's all right. I'm here, Shannon. I'm here."

"I realized after…after you died that I loved you," Shannon sobbed. "And it was too late to do anything. It was too…too late. I couldn't do anything about it…I had to go on pretending…pretending that you were my brother."

"I am your brother, Shan," Boone whispered sadly. Shannon shook her head vehemently.

"But I don't want you to be," she murmured brokenly. And then, heedless of the people all around her, watching her, she kissed him.

And for the first time in her entire life, she could really, truly say that she was in love.

* * *

Locke watched her from where he was standing in the shadows. As the other survivors gasped and looked at Boone and Shannon with wide-open mouths, clearly not knowing what to think, he smiled.

He had done it. He had taken a risk, and he had won in the end. He looked up at the sky and thought a silent 'thank you' to the island. He had thought that he made the right choice by sacrificing Boone at first. He hadn't foreseen Shannon's grief, or the fact that they meant more to one another than just brother and sister. His intentions were never to hurt, but to do what he needed to do. When he discovered the truth of Shannon's feelings for Boone, he had to act. So he acted in the only way he could; he used the island.

With another smile for the Shannon and Boone; reveling in the happy grin that was on Boone's face, he turned and walked into the woods.


End file.
